


Ripple Effect

by clarkesbell



Category: Life with Derek
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Mention of Accident, Minor Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:46:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22334386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clarkesbell/pseuds/clarkesbell
Summary: When Marti has to go to the hospital, Casey is faced with the task of comforting Derek. But maybe she's the one in need of comfort.
Relationships: Casey McDonald/Derek Venturi
Comments: 16
Kudos: 115





	Ripple Effect

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came to me the other day and I had to write it down and make it into another Dasey fanfic, because I'm clearly obsessed with them.   
> (P.S.: English is not my mother language, so there might be some typos and mistakes. Please, ignore them. Enjoy it!)

The first time she saw him crying was one of most difficult days of her life. 

It was 4:26 in the afternoon and Casey was opening a bag of popcorn recently popped in the microwave when the phone rang. Nora and George had taken the kids to a local fair for the day and she and Derek preferred to stay home — she, to study for her finals; he, to play video games and eat his weight in all the food available in the fridge, leaving her with a mere bag of popcorn. 

Casey didn’t comprehend everything her mom was saying when she picked up the phone, because Nora was crying and the shock prevented her from understanding her own language when the woman mumbled a faint _‘we’re in the hospital’_ on the other side of the line. Casey felt the panic rising like she did moments before her dad saved her from drowning in their pool when she was eight. 

She didn’t ask many questions, and later she thought it was due to the adrenaline; but she knew, for a fact, that Marti was the one in need of some sort of emergency surgery. Her hands were damp and shaky when she hung up the phone, telling herself to remain calm as she followed her mother’s instructions to let Derek know what was happening. 

Her stomach flipped and her heart ached for the dreadful task she was given. Even more for Derek. He loved his siblings and that included Lizzie as well, but she knew that the affection he felt for Marti was beyond any sentiment he could have for anyone else. She dreaded that moment and cursed it as she wiped a tear from her face, climbing up the stairs.

"Hey, Casey. Close the door on your way out," Derek said mockingly, not even bothering to look at her when she opened his bedroom door. 

He was sitting on his bed, knees flexed, flipping through a magazine. She didn’t huff or make any sound that suggested she was offended as he expected, and it was enough for him to look up from his reading to find out what was the cause of Casey’s unusual behavior. 

Drinking in her face, and probably seeing the tears she was trying so hard to hold back, Derek’s expression went from bored to impatient in seconds. " _Oh, no_. Did you have a fight with Emily? Did you break up with someone? Are you going to cry? If so, _please_ go talk to Paul. I'm _not_ your shrink, that Max thing was just a one-time thing because I was feeling—"

"Marti is in the hospital."

There. Like a bullet to his head. Derek didn’t react immediately, save for the suddenly visible taut muscles in his body and the slight widening of his eyes. Casey thought that his response was worse than the one she had imagined; having him panicking or yelling at her would be better than having him looking at her so scared and heartbroken, looking for a solution she didn’t have. 

She read every single emotion that crossed his face — ones she wasn’t sure the English dictionary had descriptions for — until he settled for deep, cruel, raw fear. He jumped from the bed in a quick movement that set the magazine flying across his room to land behind her on the floor and grabbed her arms in an unnecessary attempt to have her attention. 

" _What happened? Is she okay? What's going on_?" He asked brusquely, hands shaking and intensifying his grip on her. 

"I- I'm not sure."

He narrowed his eyes, a crease beginning to form between his eyebrows. "You're not... _sure_?" 

"I just- my mom called and I didn't—"

"My _sister_ is in the hospital and you don't even know _why_?" His tone was harsh, but she wouldn’t blame him for it. His face was twisted into a mask of fury, fear and hopelessness. She was sure hers reflected the same, minus the fury. 

She had seen Derek annoyed, afraid, even sad before. But she had never seen him like that. He was so angry that she could see the veins in his neck popping, and even though she knew the feeling wasn’t directed towards her, it was hard not to feel like she was somehow guilty for not listening to what her mom had told her on the phone so she could tell him every bit of information about Marti. 

With a low grunt, Derek let go of her and stormed out of his room before Casey could even think about whispering a very ashamed _‘I’m sorry’_. She heard his heavy footsteps on the hall and turned around, spotting his car keys on his desk. She took the keys and climbed down the stairs, watching him make his way to the living room. 

“Wait, Derek!” she called out, being utterly ignored as he sprinted to the garage. Casey quickly grabbed her coat and his leather jacket on the foyer and followed his steps. "Derek!"

He was opening the car door when she reached for his arm. Derek’s eyes flickered to hers and she had to control her own instincts not to flinch when she noticed the tears he was fighting back. His eyes were slightly red. 

Her heart sank to her feet, but she tried her best to cover up the shock and lifted her hand to show him the keys. “You forgot this.”

He blinked, almost as if she had just jolted him out of a trance, and reached for the object. Casey curled her fingers around the keys before he did. Derek frowned.

“Let me drive,” she asked carefully. “You’re not well right now.”

She knew he wasn’t in his right mind at the moment, but she did expect some sort of resistance on his part, especially because he hated sharing The Prince with her — and he hated it even more when he had to _literally_ share it with her, while she was driving it. But all he did was nod, blankly, and walk around the car to get to the passenger’s seat. She put on her coat and tossed his jacket on the backseat. 

The hospital wasn’t far from their home, it was a ten-minute drive when the traffic was good — and, thankfully, it was. Casey’s hands were trembling on the steering wheel and she was half praying for them to _get_ to the hospital safe and for Marti to _be_ safe. Derek didn’t say a word during the ride, but she noticed the way he opened and closed his hands until his knuckles became as white as snow and turned his face away whenever she glanced at him. 

“She’ll be okay,” she said, not sure if she was trying to convince Derek or herself. Maybe it was both. But his only response was the tightening of his jaw and she made a promise to stay silent until they arrived at their destination. 

Derek nearly got out of the car before she parked; her legs were shaking so much that she was sure she would feel the pain of tightening up her muscles to get control when stepping on the accelerator for days. She took his forgotten jacket, locked the car and ran after him, going through the glass doors of the hospital. 

She spotted George leaning against the wall in the waiting room and pointed at him, grabbing Derek’s arm to pull him towards his father. Seeing her stepfather was devastating; there was something about seeing adults breaking down in front of their kids. It only happened when the pain was too much to handle. And now George was a mess; his hands were grabbing the sides of his head, almost as if he was trying to get voices out of his head. 

"Dad, what happened? Is she okay? Where's everyone? How's Marti?" Derek asked eagerly.

George let go of his head and let his eyes fall on them, quickly wiping his dry tears with the back of his hands and straightening his posture. He swallowed hard and looked at Derek. “Edwin and Lizzie were a little anxious and Abby took them outside for a bit. Nora went to the restroom. I'm not- I don't—” He took a deep breath. “I don’t know how she is, son."

" _What the fuck happened?_ "

If George noticed the cursing, he didn’t acknowledge it. "We were near the lake. Nora and Lizzie were at the fish pond, Edwin was waiting in line for the roller coaster and I was… I was watching Marti play with the other kids there. And then I turn around for a second and she's… _gone_.” George rubbed his right hand across his face and his lips twitched downwards in an attempt to cease the crying. “I looked _everywhere_ , I asked strangers for help, I… I went to the gates and there she was, running towards the road with the other kids and then... there was a car... it came out of _nowhere_... I swear, I tried to jump. I _did_ , I tried to catch her, but—"

"Oh, my God," Casey whispered, covering her face with her hands. She was vaguely aware that Derek was repeating a series of ‘ _no’_ beside her, working twice as hard not to give in to the fear and the pain. All she wanted to do was curl up under her blankets and cry until Marti was okay. 

"She was taken to the OR right away. She’s got a broken a leg and a few fractures, but… she hit her head. She wasn't waking up. There was a lot of blood, I—" George sobbed, letting his tears fall down at once. Casey felt his pain in her chest, feeling the hair on her arms stand up. She couldn’t help a tear escaping her own eye. "I should've been able to stop this, I... _I was there_. Two meters from her."

"This isn't your fault, George."

"He was the one watching her, wasn't he?" Derek retorted, his voice accusatory and hostile.

George looked at his son with what Casey could only assume was shame and she glared at her stepbrother, to what he responded with a shrug. "What? She’s a _kid_. She's not supposed to be around by herself, you can’t let a kid alone. Now she’s laying on a stretcher, unconscious, and she might—" he interrupted his own speech, cursing aloud and shaking his head. _She might die,_ Casey finished his sentence mentally. The lump in her throat made it nearly impossible for her to breathe. 

"Derek," she said, but what should have sounded like a reproach ended up being only an exhausted cry for support. The last thing they needed was having Derek against his own father. 

"No, he's right," George agreed. "I'm a bad father."

Casey looked at him, swaying her head to the sides with vehemence. " _No_ , you're _not_. God, George, you do _everything_ for your kids. Even me and Lizzie. You're a _great_ father, these things can happen to anyone. Right now we have to believe that she’ll be okay. She _will_."

"Well, while you two bond over negligence, I'm going to do something about my sister," Derek announced, storming off before she could mediate the situation. She called after him, but he made his way to the elevators without looking back. 

"Let him be," George said, leaning against the wall once again. He looked unhinged, completely lost. She was almost certain that the wall was the only thing keeping him up. "It's okay, Casey. He's scared. Thank you for being here."

"Do you need anything?"

"No. At least not something any of us can make happen," he added, with a sad smile. 

Casey nodded, swallowing. "I'll go check on Derek. I think you should sit, George.”

He stared blankly at the rows of chairs ahead. “Yeah.”

“I'll be right back. And, please, don't blame yourself for this. Okay?"

George tried another smile, but it only made his expression look even more distraught. She watched as he took a seat, and finally walked over to the elevators. She scanned every floor, looking for any signs of Derek, until she realized there was only one place he could be. 

Two floors up, there he was, sitting on the floor near the door that led to the operation rooms. His knees were flexed, face shoved into his hands, back against the cold wall. Casey stopped in her tracks before reaching him, for the scene was awfully painful: his shoulders were trembling and she needed a moment to remember that Derek Venturi was only a human being. 

She remembered thinking that the closest he had ever gotten to crying in front of her was when he was leaving for Spain; later, that day, when she teased him about it, he said she would only see him crying when hell froze over. 

Well, it was awfully cold for a Spring night. And she was quite sure this was their personal hell. 

She admitted to being satisfied when he nearly cried that day, but now she wished she never had to actually witness it. It hurt. 

Casey resumed her steps towards him. "Derek," she called softly. 

He visibly stiffened at the sound of her voice, but didn't look up. "Leave me alone." 

She knelt down in front of him, letting his jacket fall to the floor beside her. Hesitating for a few seconds, she grabbed both of his arms with gentleness. She could feel his body shaking involuntarily under her hands.

"Casey, _go away_ ," he demanded, his voice louder and bitter now. 

"No."

"I don't want you here."

"Well, you're going to have to deal with it. She's my sister too, you know."

He scoffed. She would have been offended had the situation been different, but he was too disturbed to filter his thoughts or realize that there was no one to blame.

"I mean it. I'm just as worried, Derek. I'm just trying to be positive about all of this."

"Well, get your _fucking positivity_ _away_ from here."

"Not happening."

There was something heartbreaking about seeing Derek like that. He was not the arrogant, narcissistic usual self now. He was only a teenage boy, scared for the life of the person he loved the most, forced out of his shell to expose his soul to the person he _despised_ the most. He was just as lost as her. He looked so small that she couldn’t help but move her hands to his head, holding it gently between them. 

His body tensed up again and she had exactly six seconds to think about pulling her hands to herself before he lifted his head up to shake her off. His eyes were swollen and red, his expression was that of an exhausted person. He didn’t care that she was witnessing the weakest moment of his life, because his sister was more important than pride.

"Don't do that," he demanded, although his voice sounded too tired to cause the desired effect. He turned his head to the side and sighed. "I don't need your pity or whatever the hell you’re trying to do here. You wanted to see me like this? Derek Venturi is capable of feeling something?"

She frowned. "Derek, what kind of person do you think I am?" She sounded more offended than what she imagined, but when the comprehension that he was only hurting hit her, she tried to speak softly. "Marti is in the _hospital_ , you're scared and hurting. _Of course_ I know you _feel_ things. I'd never make fun of you for it, I promise. You can cry in front of me. That's okay. You don't have to be strong right now."

His eyes met hers instantly, the crease on his forehead intensifying as he stared at her in what seemed to be astonishment. She felt a wave of heat creeping under her skin, reaching her neck and cheeks. However, he broke the visual contact and rested the back of his head on the wall, sighing tiredly. "I just want to be alone," he repeated, but it didn’t sound convincing. His eyes fell to the jacket on the floor, noticing it for the first time. For a second, she thought he was about to complain about it, but he didn't say anything. 

"Did you try to get into the OR?" she asked him. He looked at her quizzically and she shrugged. "I just figured that's what you'd try to do."

For a split second, Casey spotted a tiny twitch of his lips, but he didn't dare to smile. He simply looked at the door and sighed helplessly. "I just need to know how she is."

"I know. So do I," she agreed. Carefully, she sat on the floor next to him, resting her back on the wall and covering both their legs with his jacket. Their bodies were now touching, from shoulders to feet and she was certain that he would whine about personal space. But he never did. 

After a few moments of silence, she looked at his profile. He was rubbing his hands over his face. "The waiting kills me," he said, closing his eyes. "I hate this feeling of... helplessness."

She wasn’t used to him opening up spontaneously. But then again, he had never been so lost. He was clearly reaching out, in his own way, for a chance to alleviate what was tearing him apart. And she was ready to do it. "Yeah. When Liz was in the hospital—"

"Lizzie was in the hospital?" 

"Yes, she broke her arm when she was seven. It was pretty simple, we knew she'd be fine, but still... I didn't stop shaking until I talked to her. My mom was a mess. I was kind of keeping her sane, even though I myself was dying inside."

Derek swallowed, his breathing relatively calmer now. His eyes were soft over her face, still swollen from the previous crying, although his face was dry now. "So, you've always been the one taking care of everyone else?"

She frowned. "I don't think I take care of everyone else."

"That's _all_ you do," he replied matter-of-factly. His hands started fidgeting with the zipper of his jacket. "Even with dad and Nora. They’re supposed to be in charge, but always expect you to fix the problems. And you do. Granted you do it _annoyingly_..." he added, while she rolled her eyes. His eyes flickered back to hers. "But you do."

Out of all the things he could have said to her, Casey never would have thought that would be one of them. She didn’t realize his perspective was so distant from the one she would have assumed he had. Derek would never admit to her being the one resolving problems in their family. He would most probably say she _caused_ them. 

"Maybe that's just my nature," was all she said. Derek didn't say anything, but his eyes remained glued to her face, thoughtfully. Almost as if he was seeing her for the first time. She was starting to feel her cheeks burning again, so she looked at her own hands and continued: "Well, all I'm saying is I know how it feels. This is my second time going through this. I _do_ think of Marti as my sister, I'm _really_ scared."

"I believe you."

She hid her surprise once again upon hearing him say those words so naturally. They had multiple normal conversations before, although they weren’t as common, but he rarely spoke so softly _to_ or _about_ her. Derek scoffed and she raised her eyes to look up at him in time to see a slight smile playing on his lips as he stared at a sign on the adjacent wall of the hall. 

“What?” she asked, curiously.

"You're quick to get attached to people."

"Why are you saying that?"

"You already considered Marti and Edwin your family the moment you met them. That's why I believe you.” She couldn’t argue with it; she and Marti had connected instantly when they met and even though it had taken Edwin a little longer to trust her — blame it on Derek, — she had loved them from the start. "Maybe that's just your nature," he added, repeating her own words.

Silence crept in little by little, but it wasn’t uncomfortable anymore. The warmth of his body combined with the sudden and slightly strange feeling of peace between them made everything a little less painful and scary. She still felt the need to cry, to get into the OR and find Marti on her own, but if she had to wait, she was glad she was doing it by Derek’s side. 

_What the hell, Casey?_ She shook her head subtly to keep those thoughts away, but she would be lying if she said she didn’t like Derek. She had been throwing insults his way ever since the day they met and she wasn’t shy to speak her mind about his stupid behavior to Emily, Paul or anyone who mentioned his name. 

But he was right, she was quick to get attached and it included him. When she thought he was leaving for Spain, it was scary. There was an emptiness inside her chest, a hollow place in her heart that finally let her understand that he was, whether she liked it or not, part of her life. Suddenly, she questioned what her life would be like without him to quarrel with or meddle in his personal life. It took her a whole sleepless night, but she realized she needed him. It just took her a little bit longer to get to accept the fact that she didn’t hate him at all. 

"You, Edwin and George are family too," she broke the silence after a few minutes, shooting a careful glance his way. Derek didn't correspond, but she knew he could feel her eyes on him by the way he partially turned his head to the opposite side. 

"Really?" His tone was skeptical, almost mocking. 

"You made it harder for me, but eventually..." 

He smirked, but there was a subtle sadness in his countenance. 

"I'm not your enemy, Derek."

"I know that. _I_ am." 

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He shook his head. "I really don't want to talk right now, Case." The way he said her nickname, which was unusual by itself, sounded even odder in the gentle tone he used. 

Casey nodded. "Okay."

She kept staring at him as he fought a battle with himself. His brows were furrowed, he swallowed hard and soon enough a tear escaped his eye before he could catch it with his hand. Casey felt a tear of her own rolling down her cheek, making its way to her chin. His pain was hers, her pain was his. Somehow, they were connected at that moment and she hated it that it had to happen over Marti being in danger, in a hospital bed. But it was also comforting, in some weird, cruel way. 

Guided by her emotions, she leaned towards him, not thinking twice before pulling him by his shoulders and tossing her arms around his neck for a hug. When his body stiffened under her touch, she thought of all the times she tried to hug him before — all useless attempts to bond with him, all promptly rejected for some unknown reason. He told her to quit doing it, because it would never happen. Yet, there she was, ready to be rejected once again when his arms enveloped her and his head rested comfortably on her left shoulder. 

Slowly, she felt him relaxing his muscles as she laid her chin on his shoulder as well, closing her eyes to let the tears fall silently. Casey could feel the suppressed sobs reverberating through Derek’s chest, pressed tightly against hers; his body trembled like it was out of control. A strong feeling overcame her body, an urge to ease his pain and hold him so he knew he wasn’t alone. His vulnerability, a strange concept to her up until that moment, was only a sign that he needed someone. And right now, she was it.

“She’ll be okay, Derek,” she whispered, her fingertips finding the hair on the back of his neck to brush it lightly. “Marti’s strong, she’s a Venturi.”

His only response was bringing their bodies even closer, if that was possible, intensifying his grip on her like she was the last bit of hope in his despair. It was like they were both drawing strength from each other, even if it was almost nonexistent. At some point, he stopped trembling and when she was certain he would let her go and pretend that it had never happened, he only adjusted his arms around her.

“Case, Derek,” Nora called softly, making them both jump and disentangle themselves from each other as quickly as possible. “I didn’t mean to scare you, I'm sorry,” she said, risking a smile through her dried out tears. There were faint black lines under her eyes from her mascara. 

Derek got up and Casey followed his lead, letting his jacket fall to the floor. Nora lunged forward and embraced them both at once before Derek could protest. Casey didn’t think he would, anyway; he had let _her_ comfort him, it couldn’t get worse than that for him. 

“Any news?” Casey asked. 

"No, not yet. George told me you were here somewhere, I just came to check. Are you okay?" She looked at Derek, who cast a sarcastic glance her way. 

"Couldn’t be better." 

"Dr. Morrison said they'd have news in about two hours. That was three hours ago."

Derek ran his fingers through his hair, a gesture that implied his uneasiness. "I'm going to enter this fucking OR if they don't come out to tell us something."

“Well… bad news travel fast, isn’t that what they say? If they didn’t come out until now, it means she’s okay.” Her words would be somewhat assertive, if it wasn’t for the unconvincing tone that delivered it. But before Derek could point that out, Nora’s eyes darted to the doors near them, which opened for a man dressed in white. Casey presumed he was Dr. Morrison. 

"Are you Marti Venturi's mother?" The man, who looked about fifty and had, in fact, the name Dr. Morrison embroidered on his scrub, looked at Nora. 

"Yes." Her answer was so natural that both Derek and Casey shot her an astonished glance. Nora was also quick to get attached, as Derek had so wisely — and here is an adjective she never thought she would use to describe him — said about Casey. She knew her mother loved Marti, Derek and Edwin as if they were her own kids. "How is she, doctor?"

"Stable." The man’s smile was followed by a loud sigh of relief from all of them. Casey’s airway seemed to open suddenly, she could breathe more easily. "She's responded really well. She's very young and will most likely have a fast recovery."

"When can we see her?" Derek asked eagerly. 

"She’s not settled in a room yet. Once she is, I’ll let you know. I assume it'll only take about an hour."

" _Only?_ "

"That's okay," Nora said, gently placing one arm around Derek’s shoulders. "Thank you, Dr. Morrison. For everything."

The doctor simply nodded with a warm smile on his face and went back to the big scary doors that Casey didn’t want to see again for a long time — or better yet, ever. 

"Oh, thank God,” Nora smiled, letting a happy tear fall down from her eye. “I'm _so_ relieved."

Casey allowed herself to laugh; the sound was so strange, like she hadn’t heard it in ages, that she tried it once again. The weight of all the fear and hopelessness that she had felt hours before were now only a memory. 

“I’ll tell George, Abby and the kids,” Nora said. 

Casey nodded. “Are they okay? I didn’t even ask George. He was a wreck.”

"Yes. I think Abby's managed to calm them down."

Casey hugged her mother before she went back to the first floor to deliver the happy news to their family. She turned to Derek, who seemed stuck in a trance by her side. His eyes were staring blankly at the floor.

"She's okay, Derek," she reminded him, smiling at the fact that her words were true now. "You can breathe now."

Derek blinked and turned to look at her as if he had just noticed she was still there. For a few seconds, he simply stared at her, at a loss of words, probably letting his own concerns and fears vanish; then, he let out a loud, shaky breath. "My God, I've never been so scared in my life," he murmured. 

Casey beamed at him, her body reflecting the same relief his irradiated at the moment. She took a step forward, promptly opening her arms to embrace him, but his naturally quick reflexes caused him to grab her wrists.

“ _Whoa_ , hold on,” he said, liberating her hands to take a step back. “Just because you caught me in a moment of weakness, it doesn't mean I'll suddenly st—"

His speech was abruptly interrupted by Casey’s sudden approximation and he didn’t have enough time to say more than a ‘ _hey_ ’ when she practically crashed her body against his, enveloping his waist with her arms. She felt his body stiffening again and she wondered if he would ever grow accustomed to her touching him — that is, if he ever _let_ her touch him again after that. 

She could feel his arms perpendicular to his body, like he was only a statue made of stone. “Casey,” he whined. 

She smiled, pressing her cheeks against his chest. "This is a happy moment, Derek, suck it up."

His sigh of defeat was the response she was looking for; he reluctantly lifted his arms to hug her back. This wasn’t a moment of consolation, none of them were crying, so there was an unfamiliar feeling orbiting around them. They were only used to bickering, casual friendly conversations when no one was around and no physical contact whatsoever. This was unknown territory, proximity combined with silence: a recipe for disaster.

Maybe that’s why _she_ felt her body tensing up the moment _his_ relaxed and he rested his chin on top of her head. And here’s the thing: Casey always had the answer. She always knew what to do when he was being an idiot, she knew what to do when he was being intransigent and childish, she even knew what to do when he was vulnerable now; but she had no idea what to do when he was being kind. 

He had said that she was used to taking care of everyone else and she claimed it was her nature; but maybe, it wasn’t. Maybe it was only the ripple effect of her childhood; of her parents fighting and her having to be the grown up in order to cover Lizzie’s ears and tell her that everything would be fine in the morning; of her having to make sure that Lizzie had everything she needed for school because her mother would most probably forget about dressing her up; of making charts for them so that Nora wouldn’t forget to pick them up after a class or a party. She got so lost taking care of everyone else that she forgot about herself. 

She felt the tendrils of warmth spreading across her chest as Derek changed the position of his hands on her back, as if he was struggling to make her feel comfortable and make sense of what was happening at the same time. She almost let out a chuckle when the thought of Derek being the one making her feel taken care of for the first time in years first crossed her mind. 

But soon the feeling turned into anguish and she reckoned all those years of suppressing feelings were coming out at once, making her shoulders tremble and her chest hurt. She tried to hide her sobs, but Derek’s hands finally stopped moving and he froze for a few seconds when he realized what was happening. 

He hated tears and she wouldn’t blame him if he tried to push her away at that moment, because she wouldn’t stay around for an emotional train wreck like herself as well. So, she decided to end his agony and step back, covering her face with her hands. “I’m sorry.”

"What's... happening?" he asked, carefully. 

She wiped her face with the back of her hands and looked at him, pressing her lips together to keep from crying. It didn’t work very well. Derek seemed slightly confused, but there was a hint of concern in his eyes. 

"I don't know." She tried to giggle, but all that came out was a high-pitched sound. "I'm a mess."

He blinked. She didn’t expect him to turn his back and leave her there — despite his aversion to tears, Derek wasn’t that heartless, — but she also didn’t expect him to read her so wisely and nudge that tiny spot inside her chest that was already in shreds. "You've been holding in, haven't you?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Taking care of everyone else, like I said." 

Casey chuckled humorlessly, looking away. She didn’t mind taking care of the people she loved, not one bit; but sometimes, she desired a moment of weakness; a few silent minutes to let her tears fall while someone _else_ did what she had been doing all along. She turned to face Derek when she felt the touch of fabric on her shoulders, only to find him gently placing his jacket around them. Casey’s eyebrows met in the middle, puzzled at his reaction; her eyes searched for his with a silent question as he stood there with his hands on her upper arms. 

Derek didn’t say anything when he pulled her towards him, willingly welcoming her back inside his arms. She didn’t know what kind of parallel reality she had just stepped in, but she wouldn’t question Derek’s newfound sympathy — towards her, of all people. His arms didn’t hesitate now, they held her firmly against his own chest, where she shoved her face. Her tears fell unannounced, silently, and he didn’t flinch once. 

Years from now, she would remember that as the exact moment when she found out the scariest truth of her life. Derek was right: she was quick to get attached to people and she had loved him way before she could allow herself to admit it. It should have scared her off, but the fact that she came to terms with her own feelings when his heart was so close to hers was somehow comforting.

Maybe everything that happened in her life led her to that place; maybe loving him was also the ripple effect of repressing her own feelings, only to find them in his arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! Thank you for reading this far! I hope you liked it, and if you feel like it, leave me a comment.  
> Have a lovely day ❤️


End file.
